Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Next Food Network Star: Final Two

Here we are, down to the final two on The Next Food Network Star. It's been a long, tedious and somewhat unmemorable journey. It's come down to Guy and Reggie:

Nate was the first person eliminated on Sunday night. After all this time, he still couldn't manage the clock at all and didn't exhibit any kind of unique personality traits. He was just an arrogant, bald shell of a guy. He had lots of knowledge about cooking - that much is certain - but his schtick just didn't translate to a 30 minute cooking show. I bet he could write a heck of a cookbook, though.

Carissa was the next to go after fumbling her appearance on CBS' The Early Show.

Paula Deen made an appearance and looked shockingly bad. I look into that woman's eyes and just want to cry because there seems to be some kind of terrifying desperation there. I wonder if she's battling agoraphobia again. She seemed like she may have been heavily medicated as well. In fact, she kind of had that weird drugged-up Paula Abdul thing going on.

Reggie and Guy each taped a show pilot. Reggie was better than I had expected, although his use of the word "sassy" must stop. Now. His Balsalmic Glazed Chicken looked simple and good.

His dessert was straight out of Sandra Lee's playbook. For shame.

Guy seemed a little more nervous than I would have thought. The Tequlia Turkey Fettucine looked good plated, but after seeing the ingredients he used it looked like it would be on the bland side.

The Breath Mint Pie could go either way. Either it would be sinfully delicious or way too sweet and overpowering. I believe this basically a variation of Grasshopper Pie.

After all this, I still don't know who I'm going to vote for - if I vote at all. I think Guy will end up having his own nationally televised cooking show either way, but I think this is probably Reggie's only shot. Then again, I don't know if I'd watch either of their shows. I've seen Dan and Steve twice in the year they've been on, and their obvious nervousness was too painful to watch.

Perhaps I'll sit this one out and see if Food Network can create a compelling Next Food Network Star in 2007. But I won't be holding my breath.

PS: I finally figured out who Guy looks like. Corey Feldman, circa 2003.


books said...

You are so wonderful! I love your blog. I didn't now Paula Deen had ag..phobia?

James said...

Yes, for many years -- her Chefography episode was fairly frank about it. (As opposed to the Emeril one which was a total whitewash -- what, no failed sitcom?)

And she was _weird_ on this: what was with the face-stroking? Either drugged up or liquored up, was our guess.

As for the star, it's obviously going to be Guy. Reggie's chance to shine, and his offering is... a roast frickin' chicken? And Guy has the whacky-but-safe vibe that FN seems to be going for at the moment -- for example with Ham On The Street.

But like Armchair Cook, I feel I watched this series out of obligation more than anything else; blah.

Elaine wanna-be said...

OMG you are sooo right about the Guy and Corey resemblance!!!

Anonymous said...

I totally hate Nate. His smile is annoying!!!

g_whizz said...

No, no no! Guy looks like the Heat Miser.

I stopped watching this mess the minute Alton Brown was done halfway through--what was that, three eps ago?

Tom said...

I'm glad Guy won. Reggie was my favorite until he repeated the word "sassy" 25 times a couple episodes back. Guy's food seems a little more "bar atmosphere" than a lot of the other stuff on FN these days, and thats a good thing.