Monday, December 19, 2005

All Star Holiday Party Hangover

As you know, I was eagerly anticipating the Food Network's All Star Holiday Party. Although my cable was out for most of the weekend due to a storm, I was able to catch the All Star show late last night.

Rachael Ray cooked a nasty looking Christmas pasta while Bobby Flay looked on in disbelief. Okay, maybe I'm projecting but I sure as hell was looking on in disbelief.

Emeril and Paula seem like old friends; albeit type-A control-freak old friends. The ham looked delicious.

Sandra Lee, true to form, mentioned getting drunk only 2 minutes into her segment with Bobby Flay. Bobby was pretty chill and did not insult anyone or have any objects inserted into his nether regions.

Sandra Lee's dips were disgusting. Every time I watch her show, I think she's going to finally make something that is going to tempt me and so far it hasn't happened. And the spooning of the dip into the zip loc piping bag was so unnecessary! It was like she wanted an excuse to show off her zip loc "skillz".



Michael Chiarello is sexy: there, I said it.



Did Candace Olson raid Pier One for the table decorations? I kind of dug the colors, but I don't dig 100% matchy-matchy decorating schemes. It just looks so...forced.

The last cooking segment featured Paula and Rachael baking a pumpkin roll cake. Rachael constantly interrupted Paula, and she kept bragging about how she doesn't measure and how she doesn't know how to bake. I don't know why Rachael so proud of this fact or why she thinks it's endearing, because it's neither.



At one point Rachael chided Paula by saying, "Tell us what you're doing. You're talking over everything and you're not telling us what you're doing." What?! The last few times I've watched 30 Minute Meals I had no idea what was happening because Rachael's stream-of-consciousness rambling added no value to the show whatsowever.

Paula was exceedingly patient and a real gentlewoman; if I were Paula I would have taken my cast iron to the side of Rachael's head. Rachael's ADHD goofiness is tiresome enough on her own show, but she couldn't even hold it together for 10 minutes as a guest of Paula's. Rachael has disrespected Paula, all of Food Network, and the audience for far too long.



"What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? ... And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you."

13 comments:

books said...

Woah, a heavy blog this one. Sounds like the all-star party all sucked. :-) Love your blog!

The Muse said...

I, too, was disappointed with Rachel's constant need to interrupt Paula. Just keep your big mouth quiet for half a minute! And I completely agree - Michael is soooo sexy. Yum!

Alicat said...

That bitch! How dare she interupt all that is wonderful in the food network, *the* Miss Paula??

Um, but Michael?? No, please no. I swear I thought he was gay for the first few episodes...I'm still not sure if I buy the "making dinner for my sweetie" episodes. ;)

Wednesday said...

You know, when I saw the commercials for this show, I noticed a tall blonde woman that looked sooo much like Candace Olson. Since I didn't catch the show and I don't know....was that her?!?! And if so, what the heck is she doing a the frigging Food Network, she's an interior designer for crying out loud. And was she pregnant? Is she married to Bobby Flay because I know he got married, but surely it wasn't to Candace. The last I heard, he was dating some Texan model. I'm very confused! But, I do agree about Michael Chiarello, he is very sexy!

Armchair Cook said...

books - I didn't hate it too much while I was watching it, but it's one of those things where the more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got!

the muse - Right on, I'm not alone in my lust for MC!

alicat - I'd take a bat to someone's knees if Paula gave me the word! Is it wrong that I thought Michael was gay at first but I still think he's hot? And has anyone ever seen his wife anyway?! She's like Sasquatch.

wednesday - Yeah, Candace's appearance was pretty random. She just busted out some teal and lime green dinnerware and that was about it. She said she was 7 months pregnant. Flay is married to the DA from Law and Order, played by Stephanie March. Yay, another vote for Michael C!

vjchang said...

Yeah, Chiarello's hot. Though, my taste in men can be a bit odd. You know, like being attracted to gay men.

Meena said...

I was so upset I missed the episode. Thanks fo rthe great recap!

By the way, I just saw promos of a new Rachel Ray show travel show starting in Jan.

What the hell's wrong with th eFood TV people, don't they see her wierdo act??

books said...

I finally watched the holidy show. RR has put on some weight. Hopefully, that means she's happy. Didn't you just love the one-one camera talk about how they just LOVE each other?

Giaguar said...

Can someone please tell me what Michaels wife looks like. Yes I agree he is hot.

Sandy said...

Does anyone know what type of flowers Candace used for the table pieces?

Jenna said...

his wife looks like bitch....o wait...she is one....shes an ugly bitch that no one in town likes or talks to...wana no more? email me...

Jenna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rex said...

I tried Rachael's Apricot Chicken and threw out the whole dish 'cause that was some NASTY CRAP!!!! She should be sucker-punched for her crappy meals.